I have just read a reply to BH, this individual wrote in to comment on the current debate with regard to the repeal of 377A. Hmm. Usually I would not read Malay forum pages but the fact that this comment came all the way from Belfast, Northern Ireland, caught my eye. And I thought I might share with you people my point of view about the whole issue altogether.

Honestly speaking, I have not been keeping up with the issue, lest for the seemingly frequent updates I got from Ridhwan. Haha! And the current furor by Alfian Saat’s defamatory email. But I get the sense that our community is pretty quiet about it. In BH, the main comments on the matter were issued mainly by the community and religious leaders. Are our people concerned about this issue at all? Do we even know that this issue is not at all exclusive to the ‘mainstream’ Chinese community but is also a matter of huge concern to us, the so-called ‘side-lined minority’? Or is the ‘Malay/Muslim’ (as we are popularly known to be) community still treats this matter as a TABOO subject, one that should not be spoken of publicly… and we continue to ‘THINK’ that these ‘issues’ are not at all PREVALENT in our society?

I know that I may be making sweeping statements but I am not at all obliged to do research on this. But hey. Dear orang ‘melayu/islam’, we no longer live in a vacuum, a secluded world of our individual fishing villages and kampungs. These issues with regard to homosexuals are REAL. And please. This matter has existed since zaman Nabi Luth, where his people do conduct homosexual activities. We all know that it is wrong…and forbidden by the religion. But do we, ignore the matter, and consequently, ignore and side-line and ostracized these homosexuals? With me even touching on this issue, I am not trying to be a homosexual activist, but I thought we could all perhaps, be more vigilant and accepting. Note: my use of the word ‘accepting’ means that we should accept their PRESENCE as HUMAN BEINGS. Saya tahu bahawa masyarakat kadang-kadang malu dengan adanya mereka yang sebegini, di antara kita. Tetapi, kita tiada hak untuk mengasingkan mereka. And we do not have the right to JUDGE them at all. Janganlah kita cepat untuk mengutuk mereka dan membuat andaian bahawa mereka akan terus terjerumus dalam neraka dan sebagainya.

In fact, I think… our community should learn to accept these differences, these individual differences that clearly exist amongst our people. I feel that homosexuality do not take place just like that. There is no such thing as somebody can be BORN a homosexual. Sexuality is a condition, it is not biological. Sexuality is a SOCIAL construct, it is not inborn. Since sexuality is therefore learned… we need to realize that the realms outside our own bodily functions play a very IMPERATIVE role in constructing our sexuality. Therefore, what I am trying to say is… something must have caused or triggered someone to be inspired to become a homosexual. His experiences with people, his personal relationships, his work place conditions, his neighbourhood, his family, etc etc. So, we must understand his ‘reasons’ for being gay or her ‘reasons’ for being lesbian. I think it is possible to retract them to the right path. First, by understanding them. Second, by suggesting to them alternative reactions to the ‘trigger’ conditions.

Homosexuality is like an ideology. It takes time to learn to be one. And it takes a longer time to unlearn.

This can also be applied to other social problems in our community or society, for that matter. We keep blaming other people for our ‘problems’, with the hope that somebody can work something out.

The religious institutions will say: “Oh! It is not a matter of weakened religious knowledge. People make babies illegitimately because they have mental sexual illness.”

The politicians will say: “Oh! These social problems exist only in the other extreme end of the society. And they are inevitable. We should also look at individuals who have been successful.”

The social services will say: “Oh! These people do not want to help themselves. We can only do so much.”

I am amazed. Kalau gitu, pusing-pusing… gitu jugak. We can NEVER escape. Solutions from me? Haha! Go back to basics. Education. Pendidikan. Ilmu. Iqra. And realize that… dalam dunia ini, tiada apa yang kekal. And believe that God is there. It is difficult, I know. To even believe in God’s abstract existence. As human beings, we are indoctrinated with this maxim… “Seeing is believing.” But I think, through ilmu… we can be closer to God. *smiles* It is Him who created this world. He knows.

ehh to all those reading my blog (macam bynk gitu eh...) wahai korang-korang yang membaca blog hamba... kasilah point of view..terima kasih!

Something about Losing again|Friday, November 02, 2007

Let me share with you a very simple but thought-provoking poem... something more difficult than the previous one. It is pretty interesting and very apt.

"One cannot lose what one has not possessed."
So much for that abrasive gem!
I can lose what i want;
I want you.

- Geoffrey Hill

* spoken&willspeakagain*
1:07 PM

One Art|Wednesday, October 31, 2007

i came across this poem. let me share it with you guys.

One Art
by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster. Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn't hard to master. Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster. I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn't hard to master. I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster. --Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

I lose things every day. People lose things in their lives. So why do we feel sorrowful every time we lose some things... since we lose things every single day, anyway? so dealing with losses is about getting used to it.... huh? so it seems easy.

as long as you are not on the losing end.....

* spoken&willspeakagain*
10:09 PM

|Tuesday, October 30, 2007

You guys are the reason why I am still (in)sane in NUS.
What a surprise. I am now in my Third Year.
Thanks for the tremendous laughter... and smiles... and pats on the shoulder... and lovely words...
It is amazing to cross paths with you people...

* spoken&willspeakagain*
12:14 PM

BOOSTED for travel|Saturday, October 27, 2007

before i hit my feminism books, i think this is more important. acts as a booster to an academic day. haha! sebab besok nak jalan raya dengan geng lbry NUS, so today i have to work for my feminism proposal due tuesday. so there.

do you know that one of my dreams is actually to write a TRAVELOGUE? i really believe that we should EACH aspire to travel ah. tak kira miskin atau kaya. tak boleh pergi e mengembara. Dunia Allah ini luas...insya'Allah. ok. i eyed someurope... pegi Johor pun jadi lah. tak boleh pegi Johor... Pulau Sentosa pun jadilah. asalkan... kita travel. destinations already.

* spoken&willspeakagain*
11:00 AM

MASA. aku mengejar.|Friday, October 26, 2007

dapat ku rasakan
MASA berlalu begitu pantas
MASA berlari
aku yang terkial-kial mengejar
terkejar-kejar
tercungap-cungap
aku dapat rasakan
aku tidak cukup masa lagi...
Ya Allah...
Berikanlah aku sedikit lebih masa lagi...
untuk melakukan sedikit lebih kebaikan
untuk merasakan sedikit lebih kegirangan
untuk mendapatkan sedikit lebih ketenangan

isy isy isy
*geleng kepala*
manusia...
diberikan sedikit... selalu dimintanya lebih...

* spoken&willspeakagain*
10:46 PM

I fell in love with Khaled Hosseini’s other book, A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS. And here I am again…sharing with you parts of the book. Sigh. The way he writes is just so sincere… that even the love-making scenes look so… pure. And I am not kidding about it. i love the parts below. the first one is simply ghastly. ghastly in the most sympathetic way. the second and third one... it is beautiful. you know.. the way the Laila's mother reacts to the death of both her sons in the war. her extremities...i had been there. and i did have my dad saying that he missed my laughter and someone else said he missed my smile. i never knew what it felt like to say those things. and the last scene.. i had been there too. out of frustration. and then, i had thought the world was unfair.

A gust of wind blew and parted the drooping branches of the weeping willow like a curtain, and Mariam caught a glimpse of what was beneath the tree: the straight-back chair, overturned. The rope dropping from a high branch. Nana dangling at the end of it.

“Did you ever bring Mammy up here?” Laila asked.
“Oh, many times. Before the boys were born. After too. Your mother, she used to be adventurous then, and … so alive. She was just about the liveliest, happiest person I’d ever met.” He smiled at the memory. “She had this laugh. I swear it’s why I married her, Laila, for that laugh. It bulldozed you. You stood no chance against it.”

“I miss the boys too, you know,” Babi said. His eyes had welled up a tad. His chin was trembling. “I may not…with your mother, both her joy and sadness are extreme. She can’t hide either. She never could. ..”

A groan came out of Laila. Then a wail. And then she was crying, and when he went to wipe her cheek with the pad of his thumb she swiped his hand away. It was selfish and irrational, but she was furious with him for abandoning her, Tariq, who was like an extension of her, whose shadow sprung besides hers in every memory. How could he leave her? She slapped him. then she slapped him again and pulled at his hair, and he has to take her by the wrists, and he was saying something she couldn’t make out, he was it softly, reasonably, and, somehow, they ended up brow to brow, nose to nose, and she could feel the heat of his breath on her lips again.

These are the few parts that I really love. And there is this one page, of Tariq and Laila and the scene … even as I was constructing the scene in my mind… as I was imagining it… I moved myself. My heartstrings got tugged. The way Hosseini writes… it is magical.

I wish I can write as magically….

Anyway… I wanna share a few things. Just a few quotes that I got from a book. And the thing is.. I think they make sense. A lot of things are making sense to me nowadays. And the uncanny-ness is just so overwhelming. It is all about the future. My future. It is all about making impacts. It is all about thinking, getting and taking control. And now I am watching the very first episode of Heroes. What I have been coming across or reading the past few days.. they all tie in nicely and very quickly… it is quite… scary actually.

1) If you see it in your mind, you’re going to hold it in your hand.

2) The universe likes speed. Don’t delay. Don’t second guess. Don’t doubt. When the opportunity is there, when the impulse is there, when the intuitive nudge from within is there, act. That’s your job. And that’s all you have to do.

3) Unless you fill yourself up first, you have nothing to give anybody. Therefore, it is imperative that you tend to You first. Attend to your joy first. People are responsible for their own joy.

* spoken&willspeakagain*
8:22 AM

A Dream|Thursday, October 25, 2007

i have a TERRIBLY BIG dream.
i just talked about it with fadzli.
and i think it will come true and useful.
and i think this shall be my next long-term project.

* spoken&willspeakagain*
2:53 PM